Every week, The Post will bring you our picks of the best one-liners and stories from satirical site the Babylon Bee to take the edge off Hump Day. Want more of a chuckle? Be sure to click the links.

“Oh man, we got to get drunk!” said Elton Haywood, who was apparently too drunk to realize he was already drunk. “We’re going to the Super Bowl!” READ MORE

At publishing time, Newsom confirmed that any Californian caught voting for Republican candidates would be permanently barred from receiving electricity. READ MORE

Several partygoers reported feeling nervous as they thought the man in the zombie outfit had taken things a little too far. READ MORE

“Yay for Governor Scarecrow! Love wins!” said local liberal Carol McDonald. “Can you believe he used to be a Halloween decoration and now he’s our governor?” READ MORE